Albert Einstein was one of the most brilliant physicists in the world. He is known best for the theory of relativity that talks about energy, time, and space. His formula E=mc2 is exceedingly well known. He worked with quantum physics, which is awfully complex. Albert Einstein interests me because he was very intellectual and he thought in a different way than everyone else.
A grade, just fit in three more sentences. very smart girl.
lol. like that?♥
I would give it a B+.
I think you should include more on why he interests you. Does he inspire you to "think out of the box"?
What else did he come up with besides the theory of relativity?
Check out this link: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/albert_eins...
I like how you explained who he is. But what if we want more info about him? You have to write one paragraph? i like it and i would give you a 95%. =)
Well i think you did great.
Talk about your own personal experience on how he inspired you. That would make it great. Teachers love stuff like that.
Ok, here's my proof-reading: Since I cannot use proof-readers marks here, I will simply edit-in my changes.
"Albert Einstein was one of the most brilliant physicists in the world, and is known best for the theory of relativity, which explains the relationships between time, space, matter, and energy. His formula "E=mc2" is universally known. He worked with quantum physics, which seeks to explain the behaviors of sub-atomic particles. Albert Einstein interests me because he was very intelligent and he thought in a different way than everyone else."
I hope this helps. I would have given a "B" on the paragraph, but then again, I did proof-reading of college papers for a few years. I tried not to edit-out your "voice", so I kept my changes to a minimum.
OK get rid of the "most brilliant" and "awfully". What examples of him being intellectual do you have and in what way did he think differently to others. I would give it a B-.
This looks great - I would accept this with a high grade from my jr. high students. You may want to add a sentence or two describing his other discoveries/works, he had several. Otherwise, you may want to put something in about how his early life (nearly flunking out of school because his learning style was so different than how they taught, his early jobs) influenced his later works. This ties into how he thought differently than everyone else.
Overall, great job! I would grade it in the 90's.
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