9 yr old not respecting others property or her own?

Question:My 9 yr old daughter has a problem with not owning up to her mistakes. Let alone itf she does something wrong she will not tell anyone. After the last incident I started to have her do chores from breakfast to supper and cancelled all overnights except to her fathers. I am being told by my mother that this is a way of controlling her, I believe I am teaching her work ethics and how to work all day is really not fun.
She beoke my digital camera and left it on the ground, not evening bothering to tell me. The final one is when her and her friend scratched words into my boy friends truck(which now has to be painted) It seems like she just doesnt care or does not think about the consequences. She is my oldest and am at a loss on how to handle this behavior. Any good advice would be helpful. thx freedom

I think you need to find a way that is not so harsh, so she is not scared to tell, but also a way that teachers her the value of things.

For example, the camera. At her age, she might not know how much that costs. So tell her. Then put it into a framework she can understand. OK, it costs $100, I get paid $10/hour at my job, I have to work 10 hours to pay for a camera. And then, I would make her work at least an hour or so.

As to the truck, I'd have those kids out there washing it once a week for a while to make up.

However, it also sounds like she is having other issues, so maybe you need to bring dad into the picture and work this out together.
You are going about the situation all wrong. Punishing her so harshly is probably causing your daughter to lie when she does something wrong because she is afraid of the punishment. I cannot guarantee that this will work but the next time you find out that she has done something wrong, just talk to her about her mistake and calmly explain it to her in a way that makes her feel she can come to you with anything. This way she won't be scared to own up to her mistakes. Explain to her she is only punished for not owning up to her mistakes not because she made a mistake.

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