A teacher has threatened my 10 year old, How do I handle this?

Question:My daughter came home from school today crying and told me that because she did not get all of her homework finished, her teacher took her into the hall and told her that her parents were going to be in big trouble for neglecting her. I work nights, so it is impossible for me to make sure she gets everything done. Her grandmother keeps her on those nights, and she was a teacher for almost 40 years. I cant think of anyone better to leave her in the care of when it comes to homework. I called the principal today, but she did not return my call, I am going to the school in the morning, and I need advice on how to deal with this teacher. Am I overreacting, or do I have a right to be so angry?

Answers:
call the principle and the superintendent
you definately have to right to be angry and no you are not overreacting kick that teachers a**. who does she think she is saying your daughter is being neglected she has no idea of the situation at home. And your poor daughter is probablly going to be scared of the darn teacher or embarrased, you need to handle that right.
go talk to the teacher
take time from work if you need to
this is important
this is UNACCEPTABLE
No, you have a right to be angry. It's what, the second week of school?

Neglect includes things like not providing food, clothing, shelter, or bathing for your child; refusing to take them to the doctor; keeping them locked up and refusing to let them outside. Neglect does not include having a work schedule that does not allow you to be home during homework time.

Personally, I would first make sure that what your daughter heard was actually what the teacher said (and if the teacher denies it, how did your daughter come to that conclusion?)...and if it is, I would bulldog this thing so hard that the teacher would never threaten a child again.

Good grief, the child is 10. It's homework! Yes, it's important, and yes, your daughter should be responsible for it...but it's not like she committed a crime, and if the teacher can't handle a child not getting their homework done, then that shows that they probably can't handle a whole lot else, either.

If a child doesn't get their homework done, then they get poor marks. Cause and effect, simple as that. They do not deserve to be threatened by the person that is supposed to be causing them to learn and inspiring them to discover. I would be very up front, and after getting both sides of the story, make it extremely clear that if anything happens like this again, you'll be happy to alert the school board and the superintendent's office.

Just my 2 cents, though...

Edit: Just a side note...when I was 11, my math/history teacher said things like this to me, and she finally *physically pushed me to the floor* in front of the class when I didn't get my homework done. Quite frankly, I had given up learning from her a long time before, and though I knew the stuff, I just plain didn't care. The next morning, my mom had a 2 hour meeting with the teacher, the principal, and the guidance counselor, and made it very clear that if she ever so much as spoke derisively to me again (much less touched me), my mom would see her fired. She was polite and helpful to me (though distant), and never touched me again.

Once you know what's going on for sure (and feel free to get eyewitness accounts from other kids, through their moms), don't let them make you back down. If things actually did go as your daughter said, bulldog this thing as far as you have to. She's your daughter, you're her advocate, and you have every right to do so.
Oh yes, you CERTAINLY have a right to be angry... Typically speaking, a principal isn't going to listen to YOU... but she definitely will if you contact the people above her and get her in some hot water ;P I'd first go to the district school board, and if you don't get the response you're looking for from them, I'd go straight to the superintendent of education. Don't back down and let them walk over you. YOU'RE the parent and they're supposed to work for YOU.

Just get yourself pumped up before you go in and don't let them walk over you, which they definitely have a tendency to do.
I think you have the right to be angry, telling your child that she's neglected. That's just not an acceptable tactic if the teacher thinks that's how to make your child do her homework. If she has a problem with your parenting skills she should discuss that with you, like your going to discuss her teaching skills. Your not going to make your daughter tell her for you. And the principle not calling you back? That's real professional. Stay calm, sounds like your the only adult in the situation, show them how it's done.

I remember when I was in elementary school we didn't have homework, very seldom, only like fun projects. We use to do our school work in class, then the teacher was there to help and make sure it was done. Are the kids nowadays learning that much more? Somehow I don't see it. My parents never asked if I did my homework ever. Then with my own daughter I had to sign journal that her homework was complete everyday for 8 years. Felt like I was being graded.
You have a right to be angry--- if that is what happened. But a ten year old-- particularly one who's upset-- may not be the most accurate reporter of the events. Before you go into full-on attack mode, give that teacher an opportunity to present his/her version of events.
You have the right to be angry and I don't believe you're over reacting however you must remember that schools deal with angry parents almost all the time. So they'll be prepared and know what to say.

How you approach the school and how you present your concerns is very important.

My biggest concern here is that the teacher took your daughter away from the class to the hall and the act took place there. Did your daughters actions warrant her being isolated from the class? Is this the way the school deals with students who don't do their homework? (Does the teacher have the right to remove the student away from class without the parents permission?)

Secondly. Confront the Principal regarding why she didn't get back to you and say something to the effect of "We could have sorted this all out on over the phone, had you got back to me"

It may seem like I'm complicating things but my point is that you need to be prepared.

Remember: The School is obligated under law to provide your child with an education in a safe and healthy environment! You have the power!
you have every right to be angry,make the principal aware of the situation,and that you will not tolarate anyone threating your child.then you need to talk to the teacher and tell her that you will not allow her to talk to your child like that.let her know that what she said really upseted your daughter.then the next step if that doesn't work is to go to the schoolboard.
I am a teacher, and the answer is quite simple. Just go to the school and ask to speak to the principal. Tell them the scenario and he/she will handle it. A teacher cannot threaten a student, no matter what. Don't act angry or act out, it will get nothing done and you will be perceived as a joke/crazy parent.

Also, if your student needs help with work either get them a tutor or ask a teacher to help, most of the time this will greatly help the student.

Good luck!
well the teacher accused you of neglecting your child, you have a right to be angry. especially since you try to help and then give her to her g-ma that was a TEACHER ... not all student finish or even attempt their work.. at least your daughter tries.. that teacher is RUDE. in highschool i know like 5 people in my class that dont even try to do their work but they passand the teacher doesnt say neglect is the reason.
my mom works night shift and i dont always get my homework done, neglect isn't the reason. i just don't understand it so i don't do it because i dont want to get frusterated.
tell the teacher it is rude to suggest neglect because you help her as much as you can til you have to go for work, and yet then you hand her over to a previous teacher. that is just rude to say neglect is the answer. plus 10 years old , their just getting the gist of school, homework, etc. and some kids don't even try.. your daughter at least tries.. if this interview /meeting doesn't go well, i'd go to the principal and complain.

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