Best quote u've ever heard! i wanna hear it tooooooo!?

The Tongue is so Light in Weight. Yet it is so hard for people to Hold. Sorry if it's not funny, but i thought i'd share it with you
"We are what we pretend to be, so we must be careful what we pretend to be." --Kurt Vonnegut, Jr.
Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it. -Laurence Oliver
"Who needs money when you're funny"

Don't know who but I like it.
We are who we are because that's who we want to be.
"I believe in the Golden Rule: The man with the gold, rules" - Mr T.
The power of nonsense is immense. :)
I have a few...

"I am the King of Rome, and above grammar" Sigismund, Holy Roman Emperor

"It's a dangerous business going out your door. You step onto the road and if you don't keep your feet there's no knowing where you might be swept off to." J.R.R. Tolkien from LOTR

This one's more an excerpt than a quote but..

"...Come, my friends,
'Tis not too late to seek a newer world.
Push off, and sitting well in order smite
The sounding furrows; for my purpose holds
To sail beyond the sunset, and the baths
Of all the western stars, until I die.
It may be that the gulfs will wash us down:
It may be we shall touch the Happy Isles,
And see the great Achilles, whom we knew.
Tho' much is taken, much abides; and tho'
We are not now that strength which in old days
Moved earth and heaven, that which we are, we are;
One equal temper of heroic hearts,
Made weak by time and fate, but strong in will
To strive, to seek, to find, and not to yield."
- Lord Tennyson from his poem, Ulysses

If voting could change anything, it would be made illegal. The outcome of war doesn't show who is right, it merely shows who is left! Why test on animals when there are so many politicians. O.K., jokes over, bring back Habeus Corpus. I feel really terrific, and I kiss great, too. My lived experience trumps your B.S. theory. Chaste makes waste. Visualize industrial collapse. Am I going crazy, or is it just me? I'm sorry I caused so much trouble, but I feel much better now. This area protected by neighborhood Witch. Fashion is a form of ugliness so vile we have to change it every few months. Homophobic people suck, but not as well as I do. how's that?
"He who laughs last has not yet heard the bad news."
-Bertolt Brecht
"The taxpayers are sending congressmen on expensive trips abroad. It might be worth it except they keep coming back!"
-Will Rogers
"Britain has invented a new missile. It's called the civil servant - it doesn't work and it can't be fired."
-Walter Walker
"If you die in an elevator, be sure to push the Up button."
-Sam Levenson
"Never pass up an opportunity to keep your mouth shut."
-Paul Miller
"The most happy marriage I can picture or imagine to myself would be the union of a deaf man to a blind woman."
-Samuel Tayler Coleridge
"When a man says it's a silly, childish game, it's probably something his wife can beat him at."
-Epperson's Law
"There is one way to find out if a man is honest -- ask him. If he says "Yes" you know he is crooked."
-Groucho Marx

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