Can someone pls help me to correct the grammar in this quote? Thank You?

Question:What is your opinion? Thank You for you help! ^_^

Money can not buy you time, but time can buy you a lot of money depending on the individual’s abilities. If you were committed to sacrifice your time to save money, then why not spend your money effectively to optimize your time efficiently?

Answers:
Sounds like somebody's working on an ad campaign...

A few suggestions: 1. "cannot" instead of "can not" at the start. 2. If you use second-person for the first line, don't switch to third-person mid-way through: "depending on your abilities." 3. Don't be theoretical the second line: "If you are committed to sacrificing your time" 4. drop the awkward adverbs in the last line: "why not invest your money toward efficient use of your time?"

That give you just a few ways to tighten this up a bit.
Money cannot buy you time, but time can buy you a lot of money; depending on the individual’s abilities. If you were committed to sacrifice your time to save money, then why not spend your money effectively to optimize your time efficiently?

Sorry, that's the best I can do. Depending on the way that you are planning to say it (whether in a speech or in a pamphlet or something), it can have different kinds of punctuation. For example, if you were planning on reading it aloud, you would use more commas than if you were just going to write it down. On the other hand, if it was being writte down, you would use more formal punctuation with semi-colons, etc. Good luck!
umm ill try :)

Money cannot buy you time, but time can surely buy you money depending on the effort your willing to put into it. If you are willing to sacrificing time for money, then you are more capable of spending your money effectively, and optimizing your time efficiently.
Money can not guy you time, but time can aid you in acquiring money, if used efficiently. Saving money requires a commitment to some sacrifice and using one's time efficiently.
In my opinion:
Money can not buy time; but time can buy a lot of money - depending on an individual’s abilities.
If you are committed to sacrificing your time in order to save money, then why not spend your money intelligently in order to optimize your time efficiently?

I really like the sentiment of this quote!
True time is not for sale, but selling time brings a price suited for the value of an individual's contributions. If one were committed to saving money gained by selling time, then isn't there good reason for spending that money only when it is wise and timely?

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