Funny quotes 2?

Question:For Sale: Parachute. Only used once, never opened, small stain.

Do you have trouble making up your mind? Well, yes or no?

If everything seems to be going well, you have obviously overlooked something.

Many people quit looking for work when they find a job.

When I'm not in my right mind, my left mind gets pretty crowded.

Everyone has a photographic memory. Some just don't have film.

You know the speed of light, so what's the speed of dark?

Join The Army, Visit exotic places, meet strange people, then kill them.

I poured Spot remover on my dog. Now he's gone.

Evening news is where they begin with 'Good evening', and then proceed to tell you why it isn't.

Before borrowing money from a friend, decide which you need more.(Friend or Money !)

STAR if you like them

Answers:
just had a few fun ones to add:
Dont take life too seriously, no one survives anyways.
Who needs a Ken when you have a GI Joe (for all you military lovers out there)
Doctors say the key to beauty is 8 glasses of water a day,
I prefer 8 glasses of wine a day... then i dont care what i look like!

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