How do I get a grant to conduct a study on the hamster interaction and contribution to the western cuisine?



Answers:
Little Miss NEA lost her purse in the Bushes.
dunno, man, grilled hamsters make me fart and belch...

Rectal Violinist is brilliant, give him the 10 points, man...
he forgot to add, your brain needed to be romoved after the mishap he described and replaced with plastic wind-up chattering teeth, but he is a kind soul...
What good could come from a study like this? It seems like a waste of good money.
People of the Y'answers community--
It's time the truth came out, and I'm going to sing like a canary, to try and protect you from further Ultrastooge abuse.

To begin with, when he was very small, his mummy was changing his diaper, and when she went to get the J&J baby powder, Ultra rolled off the couch and dropped three feet to the hardwood floor smacking his frontal lobe cortex with at least 40 ft.lbs. of dynamic force. This caused the brain matter birectly behind his eyeballs to become "jellied"..that's why he sees things differently than most.
To make matters worse, while he was on the floor semi-conscious...(his mum was out of the room for nearly ten minutes, as her attention was distracted by a "I Love Lucy" rerun, his brother Larry's pet hamster who had escaped from his cage than morning came upon the struggling child on the floor. Mistaking it for lunch due to that unmistakable carrion smell, it proceeded to gnaw away at little Ultra's hand until mom came back and found her child..and killed the hamster with 75 whacks of a fly swatter. This is where Ultrastooge learned pain, suffering and revenge all in 20 minutes. Try
a little empathy when you come across his hamster questions, and forgive his troubled youth..A well-wisher,
Crappo.
Writing a grant is really easy. I'm pretty sure you can get Writing Grants for Dummies at any bookstore. And I'm also pretty sure that the government has so much money to waste that you have a darn good chance of getting the grant.

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