Manipulation would be shaming the child into doing something such as, "Your little brother can do that twice as well."
Motivation is providing a carrot for doing the right thing. "If you finish your chores, we'll have time to play a game together!"
"I know you can behave while we're at aunt Mary's, you're such a big boy/girl and I know you want me to be proud of you."
" I'll triple your allowance this week if you just keep your mouth shut and sit quietly while we're at aunt Mary's"
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