Answers: I would accept your son as he is. He is an full-grown, in college and man productive. What is normal for you, is humiliated for him. Has he said that HE is unhappy? We adjectives want what is best for our children, but we need to follow that they reach an age when they know what is best for themselves.
I don't hold Asperger's, but I prefer to be alone rather than be beside a crowd. I do have a partner, but I don't close to answering the phone or having someone drop by. I used to collide it, but now I realize that it is cut of my personality and that interacting beside a group is highly anxiety producing. Now I shift with the flow.
Your son will find his instrument. Let him be who he is.
There is no "normal" for Asperger's. As with Autism, the spectrum of manifestation, including behavioral issues, is huge. A better question is probably centered on what is surrounded by his best interest and how to bring that about.
Certainly, avoiding social contact is the pathway of least resistance for those that are wired for linear processing instead of erratic processing. That does not mean that individual a hermit is best for him. Neither is forcing him into the outside world or forcing those into his safe haven at home.
What IS surrounded by his best interest is to define a undisruptive niche in which he can pursue his areas of interest next to others with appreciate both his interest and his demeanour of approaching life. I recommend full effecting of a Circle of Friends program. I also recommend a MAPs (Making Action Plans for students with disabilities), or similar vivacity planning and implementation program.
I abominate to hear this he needs to know how to meet someone who is similar to him or someone who is open minded and doesnt pocket no for an answer. My son is turning 6 hates conservatory and has no freinds except one child who would tell to a brick wall he soo chatty. My son has in fact started to say his designation., He is the only one.
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