Nope. This is not homework...Just some wholesome ,creative FUN on YA.
1. Yakety Yak
2. Yonder Comes Sin
3. Yes It Is
4. You Know My Name ( Look Up The Number)
5. You Say The Battle is Over
6. You've Got To Hide Your Love Away
BONUS: Yazoo Street Scandal
It was friday night at Stuckey's pub. The day old Stuckey himself called "the moneymaker." Most days, a bar would be lucky to break even after the daily tally. But fridays paid for all.
Dante was tending the bar tonight, although "working" it may have been more accurate. He would move up and down the counter joking with each individual patron and topping off their drinks without being asked. He collected tips like twelve year old boys collected baseball cards.
The door clanged and in came the fat man. He was robed from neck to feet in a cracked brown leather trench coat and had a crooked fedora clapped on his head.
"Well. Yonder comes sin," Dante cracked. "What'll it be tonight Ernie?"
"Give me a Heinie Dante. Same as ever."
Their ritual complete, Ernie, the fat man, rumbled his way to the bar and grabbed the last stool available there. The chair wheezed as his a*s hit it that matched Ernie's own contented sigh.
"Ernie, howaya?" a weazel faced man to his left asked.
"Well it's friday, Ray,"Ernie replied.
"Yes it is. Yes it is. Got any new cases this week?"
The whole bar knew that Ernie's law practice had gained a huge reputational boost from his victories in the Yazoo Street scandal. It seemed lately that there was a new and exciting tale forthcoming from Ernie every week as to the new clientele that had been appearing at his doorstep.
"Actually no, Ray. It's been a quiet week. I think with all the furor dying down, my business is going to slacken up a bit."
"Yakety Yak, Ernie. You're the best damn attorney in this town
and you'll have clients until the minute you retire."
"Thanks, Ray, but you got to hide your love away or people will think we're fruits."
Dante arrived with two Heinekins and fat cuban cigar that seemed to appear every friday out of nowhere. He poured the Heinie with one hand into a frosted mug while he fired up a zippo with the other. Ernie took a deep drag and slipped Dante a crisp Andrew Jackson. Same ritual every friday.
Ernie turned and surveyed the patrons, casting a loving eye on each individual one of them. More than any other place in the world, Stuckey's was home.
Ray's gaze had shifted to the battered philco squaking from it's resting place above the bar. Currently, local highlights of the Heat game were coming in overloud drones.
"I don't know Dan. You say the battle is over, but I'm looking forward to that rematch with the 76ers in January. It will be hotly contested," the philco blared, using the face of Johnny Ball.
Ray lit a bent winston and inhaled deeply as a cold pocket of air washed over him. He shivered and turned his head towards Ernie.
He was gone.
Ray whipped around in his barstool and cast his glance over the patrons, each familiar in their own way. No sign of the big man. A frown furrowed Ray's brow.
If Ernie had gone to the restroom, he would have had to pass Ray himself and that had never occurred. The only explanation was that the fat man had left through the front door again, but that made even less sense. A freshly lit cuban was still smouldering in the ashtray and mug full of heinie was still bubbling in his mug. His frown deepened.
"We interrupt this program with sad news," the Philco intoned. "Prominent local attorney Ernie Hull was found dead this afternoon in his office, the apparent victim of a heart attack. Hull, known for valiantly defending vagrants during the recent Yazoo street scandal, was 58 years old."
The winston fell out of Ray's mouth and onto the floor. He looked towards Dante who was standing statue straight, his mouth a perfect "O" as he fingered a fresh twenty dollar bill.
Silence like a tomb engulfed the entire bar.
And "You know my name" (look up the number) began playing on the juke box..
The YAZOO STREET SCANDAL: A Short Story
I was making my rounds on a sunny Wednesday afternoon. I am a street cop in Yazoo city. Then, out of no where, YONDER COMES SIN, my long time lover. He starts screaming at me right there for the world to see and hear.
He says, “YOU GOTTA QUIT KICKING MY DOG AROUND!”
I ask him what he means, I have never kicked a dog, and he doesn’t even own one.
Sin replies “YOU DON’T”T KNOW ME, it is like YOU KNOW MY NAME and that is all. I do have a dog and you are always kicking him and stepping on him!”
Now I am getting worried. Have I been that blind for all these years, or is Sin loosing it? So, now that we have attracted a crowd I look for a way to settle this in private. I say “YOU WANNA RAMBLE on with all this YAKETY YAK, lets go home and do so.”
He says “YOU AIN’T GOIN’ NOWHERE!”
Now I am getting very embarrassed. All I want to do is run. So, I say “If this is all YOU SAY, THE BATTLE IS OVER! YOU CHANGED MY LIFE, I continue, YOU ANGEL YOU.
His rant continues “YOU BELONG TO ME!” he screams as I slump away. “YOU’RE GONNA MAKE ME LONESOME WHEN YOU GO!”
This makes me stop and turn back. Then he goes back to his barrage of insults. “YOU’RE NO GOOD for me, I think in my head. And yet all I want to do is hug Sin and return him to his usual loving self. I try to do so, but as I do he whispers “YOU’RE TOO LATE for apologies.
We only faught 2 minutes ago, “You really think this is the end?”
As cold as ice, Sin replies “YES IT IS.” And now he turns and walks away.
I stand there in shock. He does not even have a dog! But, he says it is over. “YOU’VE GOT TO HIDE YOUR LOVE AWAY” I tell myself, and I continue my shift. What a YAZOO STREET SCANDAL!
I put the song titles in all caps so you can see them. I also found a few more that I used. It mat not be great, but this has been a fun lunch break! Thanks!
EDIT Ok, I changed the ending.
give me a second. I have to come up with something.
here it goes, possibly the worst story ever:
One day Yakety Yak was on Y!A when he saw a question asked by "Yonder comes sin". He emailed the person, thinking this was an intresting name. After talking to Yonder for a few days, He polietly asked, "what is your real name?" yonder comes sin replied, "you know my name."
Yakety Yak wondered for several hours who it could be. Then, deciding that this person must be either kidding, or mentally crazy, he replied to the email "Is your name Yonder comes sin?"
"yes it is" he replied. Yakety Yak decided that this guy was mentally crazy and decided to stop emailing him.
(lets see how many other songs to I have to use?)
Oh well, i'm hungry and I'm gonna go get some lunch. Thats the best story i could write in 2 minutes
i was sitting on the street corner , just a waitin ' on the bus, and this ole yakety yak b*tch comes over to me and starts spouting off about some stupid Yahoo street scandal.
now i don' know what this woman's talkin' about ,and all i'm thinkin' is ,Gawd . I hope this doesn't have something to do with me. there was that one time, that i kinda got stuck on an avatar,
but my friends told me, "NO, You've got to hide your love away. What would your husband think? "
and i knew they were right. but then .. here i am on line and Yonder Comes Sin, and i sez to my friends, i sez , "you say the battle is over, but here it comes again.
and they said "Yes it it. it's a new battle everyday, and so i said "F-it, You know my name (look up the number). but if hubby answers .. hang up. "
(line) YAKETY YAK don't talk back (line) YONDER COMES SIN. So, (line) YOU'VE GOT TO HIDE YOUR LOVE AWAY.
You want to more about the (line) YAZOO STREET SCANDAL? So does everyone.
(line) YOU SAY THE BATTLE IS OVER? (line) YES IT IS. (line) YOU KNOW MY NAME (LOOK UP THE NUMBER).
ummmm yeah im kinda tired.
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