So instead of me making up the phrases..YOU have a hand in it!!
Confused? You'll see... It's really quite simple.
After I see the first 6 phrases, I will LIST THEM IN THE ADDED DETAILS..►THEN,GO BACK TO MY QUESTION , LOOK AT THE PHRASES AND WRITE A LITTLE STORY THAT MUST INCLUDE THOSE 6 PHRASES.
P.S. I WILL NOT ACCEPT BATHROOM HUMOR OR PROFANITY. THANKS.
“See?” began the TV announcer, “the crafty cat caught the sly mouse.”
Monica – whose apartment was not only overrun, but presided over by several hundred rodents – gaped in awe as the cameras zoomed in on the orange and white tabby, who was cradling a visibly angry mouse.
“Chatty Cathy, that’s what all her friends call her,” beamed Jessica, the cat’s owner, stroking the purring tabby’s jowls. Chatty Cathy became so enraptured that she dropped the mouse.
“CATCH ME, I’M FALLING!” it squeaked, but no one in the studio took notice.
“And that’s all the time we have for this week’s edition of “Perky Pets” here on WMAZ-TV, sponsored by Hensley & Wiggums Pet Grain Cereals, designed to make your cats and dogs HOWL for breakfast once more ---- “
Monica switched off the TV, looking around to see that none of the mice in her abode overheard the news feature. Grabbing her keys, she made to leave her rat-infested home, until she came face to face with Alvin, Keeper of the Door.
“Where do you think you’re going, HUMAN?” snarled the rat.
Monica ignored the fork being pointed menacingly at her head, and said, “Chantilly Lace said I could leave, if I promised to come back with some asiago cheese and a baguette.”
“Which one’s Chantilly…something-rather?” barked Alvin. He adjusted the bottle-cap which served as a helmet.
“Chantilly Lace has a pretty face and a pony tail, a hanging-down,” said Monica calmly. She hoped Alvin wasn’t clever enough to realize she was lying.
“Sounds like a keeper to me,” grinned Alvin, “I think I know which one you’re talking about. Okay, human, you may go. But add a nice chunk of brie to the list, if you’re off to the grocery.”
“Oh trust me,” winked Monica, on her way outside, “all of you little mice will get EXACTLY what you deserve tonight.”
Monica wasted no time running down to the WMAZ studios. When she got there, she saw Jessica talking to the producers of “Perky Pets”, while Chatty Cathy sat at a table, munching contentedly on a tuna-taco.
“Needs more cilantro,” quipped the tabby, “but overall quite fine.”
“How about an abduction to spice up your meal?” cried Monica, who scooped up the astonished orange cat and ran out the backstage door, much to Jessica’s horror.
“Crazy catnapper!” screamed Jessica, as she and studio security guards gave chase.
“Call in the Daleks, sweetums, I see your mum-in-law running up the front steps,” said Alvin, as he watched Monica advancing towards the apartment, cradling a still confused Chatty Cathy.
“It’s no time for jokes,” sniped Beverly, Queen of the Vermin, grasping her whiskers in fear, “our human is bringing in that cat from the telly!”
When Monica burst through the door, she flung Chatty Cathy into the dead center of the mouse congregation, which immediately prompted high squeaks and screams from both cat and mice. No sooner than Monica found her balance when Jessica lunged into the apartment, tackling her to the floor awash with panicky rodents. A beat later, three security guards and two policeman also burst in, tripping over the two women and spiraling over the dining room table. The ruckus could be heard from a block away.
“Piece of cake,” purred Chatty Cathy, reclined in an easy chair and finishing the last half of her tuna taco.
“As your owner, I COMMAND you to untie us all,” shrieked Jessica, kicking her feet against the now spotless floor. She was tied up securely along with Monica, several policemen, and an estimated 300 mice in the center of the apartment.
“Not until you sign my admission papers,” replied Chatty Cathy, producing a ream of papers stamped UC SANTA CRUZ. “You know it’s always been my lifelong dream of studying advanced physics and earth science, not be some routine mascot for you.”
“But the sponsorships --- “
“Done with ALL of that,” retorted the cat.
The tick-tock of a grandfather clock reminded everyone that Chatty Cathy had all of the time in the world at her paw-tips. As for the bound human and mice, SOMEONE would have to cave in….what with dinner time, bathroom breaks, and all…….
Chatty Cathy, that's what all her friends call her.
After reading Alec's entry I'm ashamed of my very inapt entry. Shouldn't have even wasted my time. LOL Way to go man!
CHATTY CATHY, THAT'S WHAT ALL HER FRIENDS CALL HER. She loved to talk, talk on the phone, talk on her computer, talk in her sleep. She was rarely without something to talk about. And in a world of denim and T-tops, Cathy wears CHANTILLY LACE, HAS A PRETTY FACE, AND A PONYTAIL A HANGING DOWN. Kind of made one think of a Southern belle.
On one particular afternoon, Cathy's mom was taking her daily afternoon catnap on the sofa in front of the TV. Her favorite soap opera was on, which she rarely watched because she usually catnapped through it.
As Mrs. Smith napped, Sweetpea, Cathy's cat was stalking a mouse. It kept peeping from under the sofa and darting back. Sweetpea was a virtue of patience. She eyed the mouse with malice each time it appeared but the wily mouse always darted back before Sweetpea could pounce. Just then a movement caught her eye. The mouse was happily scurrying across the back of the sofa! With a leap worthy of a ballerina, Sweetpea leaped and landed right in the middle of Mrs. Smith's chest! Mrs. Smith let out a blood cuddling scream and sat straight up sending the cat flying. But Sweetpea was an agile cat, as most cats are, and did a backward flip. THE CRAFTY CAT CAUGHT THE SLY MOUSE as she landed on all four feet!
Meanwhile Mrs. Smith was dancing around having a fit and jabbering incoherently. The commotion brought Cathy running. "What's happened?!", she exclained. "What's wrong?!"
"I was catnapping on the sofa and something attacked me!", Mrs. Smith wailed. "Oh, I think I'm going to faint!" she moaned as she raised her hand to her brow and swayed. "CATCH ME I'M FALLING!"
Cathy rushed to her mom's side and eased her back onto the sofa. Mrs. Smith looked up at her daughter with slightly unfocused eyes. "CALL IN THE DALEKS, SWEETUMS, I SEE YOUR MUM-IN-LAW RUNNING UP THE FRONT STEPS!"
"CRAZY CATNAPPERS!" Cathy thought to herself as she shook her head and went to get a damp cloth for her mom's brow.
Chantilly Lace has a pretty face and a pony tail, a-hanging down.
Edit: There's no way I can come up with a story even approaching the quality of Alec's. I'm going to throw in the towel, pout, and call Doctor Who. Alec, I am pwned AGAIN! YOU RULE.
CATCH ME I'M FALLING
The burglar moved swiftly through the study, his small flashlight trained on the far wall. There it was! He removed the large painting, revealing a safe. Soon he was tossing jewelry, bonds and cash into the oversized bag. The house had appeared quiet and empty from the front drive. Little did he know the rear bedroom was occupied.
"Chantilly Lace has a pretty face and a pony tail, a hanging down," sang the radio. Cathy was looking into the mirror of her vanity, rubbing some disgusting looking green gunk on her face. She had a blue tooth plugged into her ear. These days Cathy never went anywhere without it. If she could have had a phone implanted on the side of her face, she would have done it. All she ever did was talk. Her parents swore she came into the world talking. Chatty Cathy, that's what her friends called her.
Felix the cat watched her languidly from the pillow on her bed. He was used to the constant blabber. His eyelinds went to half-mast. He was almost asleep when he saw the mouse. It skittered across the hardwood floor. He let out a low growl and sprang for it, startling Cathy. She paused in mid-sentence, craning her neck to see what was going on behind her. In the meantime, the crafty cat caught the sly mouse.
Cathy swung her legs, making a full turn, then let out a blood-curdling scream. Felix hung on grimly as the mouse frantically writhed in his mouth. At the same time, the burglar looked up, startled. He couldn't risk being caught. After ten long years in prison, he vowed he would die before going back. What to do? He had to make a choice. Quickly, he darted down the hall, following the noise. If things went right, he could immobilize her without having to kill her.
Cathy screamed again. The door flew open, revealing the burglar. For a moment, she was too startled to make noise. He lunged toward her and then all hell broke loose. At the very same moment, the mouse made his move. He leaped from the cat's mouth, landing neatly in the bag. Not to be outdone, Felix joined him. The bag took on a life of its own, howling, hissing and flailing. Cathy joined in with an amazing sustained scream that sounded like a boiling teakettle. Good God!, thought the burglar, I've got to get out of here! He made for the bedroom window, flung it open and straddled the casement. It was then he realized his mistake.too late! The bedroom happened to be on the second landing. He tried to stop, but the momentum of the traveling bag sent him over the edge. His last words were, "CATCH ME, I'M FALLING!" Cathy stood there shaking her head. Crazy catnapper!
When the police arrived, they found him lying in the flower garden. The stolen goods were still in the bag, unharmed. The mouse had fled. Felix the cat sat on his chest, licking his face.
The burglar's luck had run out. He had suffered a severe concussion and a broken right arm. They sat him up. A police officer was attempting to read him his Miranda rights, but he was having none of it. In fact, he was avidly carrying on a conversation of his own. "Call the Daleks, sweetums," he said happily,"I see your mum-in-law running up the front steps!"
Speechless, Cathy surveyed the scene. Later, her parents would tell the story to their friends, saving the most unbelievable part for last. Their daughter had been completely quiet for twenty minutes!
crud.... i'm the 7th! well, at least i can still post a story lol
**don't close yet!** please> ? thanks!
can you HOLD this. just a while longer?
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