2. I REALLY saw him. Honest!
3. Time travel is as elementary as walking across the street.
4. Are you trying to give me a heart attack?!
5. Come on in.... My life is an open book and YOU are one of my chapters.
6. You have no idea how happy you are making me.
BONUS: HEE HAW and away we go!
Two women were walking through a mall one evening, talking and window shopping. Rachel was describing her dream man, the ideal of her mind and heart.
Sarah said, "Are you trying to give me a heart attack? Your dream man is better than mine!"
"But here is the best part, Sarah. I REALLY saw him... Honest. He is a clerk at the Foot Locker at the end of the mall!"
"Oh, sure, hey, I do believe in reincarnation, because he sounds like Clark Gable come back to life," Sarah replied sarcastically.
Rachel smiled, "Funny you should say that. It is Clark Gable. I was in 1949 when I saw him for the first time in person. He was a movie theatre manager then. Hey, time travel is as elementary as walking across the street."
"So, are you going to introduce me to your Mister Wonderful, your Clark Gable?" asked Sarah.
"There he is," sighed Rachel lovingly as he was pulling the door shut to the store. She called out, "May we come in still?"
He looked at Rachel and looked again and smiled invitingly.
"Come on in... My life is an open book and YOU are one of my chapters," he said to Rachel.
"See how perfect he is," Rachel whispered to Sarah.
She then looked at him and said, "You won't believe this, but I dreamed that you would say that to me. Because you are saying that to me now, you have no idea how happy you are making me."
And just WHO is making you happy Sunshine. It wouldn't be Mr. James Arness would it? When are you gonna come clean and tell us when you two are gonna be on TV together. I better not miss it cause you wouldn't tell us. I don't know why people can't see what you're trying so hard not to say.
It was a typical wind swept Saturday morning in Chicago. Too early for foot traffic, the streets were eerily quiet as she headed for the law office, ambitiously aiming to wrap up some internal memoranda. In the distance, a lone figure leaned casually against a lamp post.
As she approached, his features emerged into focus. He was watching her, said "hey."
"Holy crap!" she gasped. "You look exactly like Jim Morrison!"
"I am Jim. Blastin' from the past. Time travel is as elementary as walking across the street, man. Where ya headed so early."
"Are you trying to give me a heart attack?! No way you're Jim, he's buried in France!"
"I am the lizard king, I can do ANYTHING." he swung his arms wide and high, and staggered a bit. "Your cute." he reeled to the curb.
"Look, this is my office building. Come on in...my life's an open book and YOU are a major one of my chapters! Even if you're not Jim...hey, man.I DO believe in reincarnation, so maybe you're his...his essence in identical flesh?" her heart was racing.
"Sure babe, I'm in." he hummed the melody from backdoor man in fabulous baritone richness as he followed her into the elevator.
"You have no idea how happy you are making me. I can't believe this...I can't believe I'm not scared of you right now, but ...I don't know, this is too good to be true. Jim's my idol, ya know."
"Thankssss girl. Say, where's the piss station in this joint?"
They whisked past the partners' offices to her cubicle. "Mens' room's right over there." she pointed. "Hurry back!"
He weaved a saunter toward the mens room, and disappeared behind the door. She waited 10 minutes, 15, and with much agitation, opened the mens' room door, calling "Jim? uh, Jim Morrison? Are you in here?"
Mr. Windbag swung open the stall door. "What are you DOING in here, Miss Grant?"
"Oh! I'm sorry! Did you see Jim Morrison come in here, or leave?"
"What are you talking about, too early in the morning for you? Are you drunk?"
"No, no sir, I REALLY saw him...Honest!"
"Look, if you want a job at this firm, cut the nonsense."
She retreated in tears to her cubicle, crushed, disappointed and confused. She looked at the pile of assignments on the corner of her desk and yelled with bitter sarcasm, "HEE HAW and away we go!" picking up the top sheet.
John sat in front of the TV trying to concentrate on the futuristic based documentary. "In 2110 TIME TRAVEL IS AS ELEMENTARY AS WALKING ACROSS THE STREET," the commentator said.
"I REALLY SAW HIM.HONEST!", Bill put in. "I tell you, it was really Elvis Presley! When I paid my tab, he said, "Thank you. Thank you very much." It sounded just like him too!"
"Come on," John laughed. "Are you trying to tell me that Elvis Presley is a cashier at the restaurant in town?!" John laughed again. "ARE YOU TRYING TO GIVE ME A HEART ATTACK from laughing so hard?"
"HEY, MAN.. I DO BELIEVE IN REINCARNATION!" Bill put in feeling a little piqued at John's disbelief. "Come back to the restaurant with me me and I'll prove it!"
John laughed again. "HEE HAW AND AWAY WE GO!" he added getting to his feet and giving up on trying to watch the TV program.
Within a few minutes they arrived at the restaurant. "Now get ready for a BIG surprise," Bill grinned as he rushed John toward the door. "This is for real", he added holding the door for John.
"Yeah, yeah, I know." John chuckled. "Just show me this Elvis you're so up about."
"Welcome, John Smith," greeted a jumpsuit clad ETA (Elvis Tribute Artist) "COME ON IN..MY LIFE IS AN OPEN BOOKAND YOU ARE ONE OF MY CHAPTERS." He bowed them in with a grandiose sweep of his arm as he added, "John Smith, This is your life!"
"Surprise! Surprise! Happy Birthday, John!" John gaped at all his friends. It was a surprise birthday party! And he thought no one cared! He was ushered on into the midst of his friends with slaps on the back from the guys and hugs and kisses from the girls. What a great day!
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