☼ wants to know...Can you write a few amusing paragraphs that include these phrases?

Question:1. What in the name of The Lone Ranger and Tonto are we doing here?
2. Make-up helps.
3. If that isn't your hand on my shoulder, I am going to freak big time!
4. You're not a buzzard. Quit hovering.
5. That's wonderful, but you know my bladder is about to pop.
6. Bigfoot? Did you say...BIGFOOT??!

Answers:
1. "What in the name of The Lone Ranger and Tonto are we doing here?" exclaimed Peter.
"That line stopped being funny ages ago," said Davis, glaring.
"Sorry." Peter made a noise somewhere between a whimper and a sob.
"S'okay man." Davis patted his buddy on the back. "S'okay."

2. Old man Harrison sat back in his rocking chair, puffing on a cigarette. The smell irritated Tommy's nose, but he was too nice a kid to mention it.

"They you ever fight in a war?" he asked as soon as Mr. Harrison looked finished with his cigarette.

Harrison blew some smoke into Tommy's face before answering. "Well, Tommy, I was there at Pearl Harbor, fought in WWI and WWII. Also got my leg shot off in 'Nam by some guerrillas."

Tommy's was filled with awe, but his youthful face clouded with suspicion at the last statement. "How come it looks like you have two legs if one of them got shot off?" he asked.

"Make-up helps."

3. "If that isn't your hand on my shoulder, I am going to freak big time!" John said in a surprisingly shrill voice.

"No, John, it's my penis." Stephanie rolled her eyes. "Calm down. Not everyone in New York is out to get you."

4. "You're not a buzzard. Quit hovering," Kyle snapped at his little sister.

"But what if I'm not a buzzard," his sister said. "Oh, snap!"

"Your mom is a buzzard," Kyle said. "Now get out of my room." His little sister scampered out, giggling. Kyle sighed. She could be so dense sometimes.

5. "This was definitely worth the wait at customs. Niagara falls is so majestic. Just listen to the roar of the water. It's mindboggling. Millions and millions gallons of water, pouring forth every second..."

"That's wonderful, but you know my bladder is about to burst."

6. "Bigfoot? Did you say...BIGFOOT??!" squealed Diane. The other members of the group turned to her in sync, glaring silently. They had been practicing for this moment for weeks.

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